Things to do at work when not working

1) Write blog posts about what you do when not working.

2) Get a drink of water/randomly walk around.

3) Talk to one of the employees of City College for awhile.

4) Go on ebay and check out how much a replacement 1/8" tape head would cost.

5) Read and comment on other peoples blogs.

6) Read the book that I forgot to bring today.

Tips for a new Tutor

When ESL students are apprehensive about discussing their paper verbally (most likely due to their lack of confidence in their mastery of English), limit your questions to those which can be given a 'yes' or 'no' answer. Attempt to express in your own words the key ideas of their paper and then ask them if you interpreted them correctly. They will eventually begin to expound upon their topic freely.

When a student drags his/her feet, and begins to make excuses about difficulty, unfairness, and such, gently bombard him/her with queries (perhaps ones peripheral to the topic) to bring him/her back around to the mode of thought where he/she is attempting to complete work and not whining.

Do not ever 'check out' a student of the opposite sex. If a student 'comes on' to you, express that this conduct is inappropriate and move to a public area quickly.

Is that Jesus in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

I made this up, unlike 'Joined in Jesus' (below) which is fo 'reals.

In this day and age, its hard to do anything without stumbling over an ad for 'male enhancement'. Whether its a pop-up window on the internet, a late night info-mercial, or golf-buddy bragging about his 'results' , it seems as though we are beset by all manner of 'miralulous' male enhancers and stimulators. But what about the side effects? Do we really know what all that extra ginseng will do for our health in the long run, not to mention the unnatural ingredients used in such products. Maybe its time to expect miracles from where miracles flow. May be its time for the Holy spirit to enhance your life.



[Ed. sorry, I just can't do it. Its too evil. maybe one day when I'm really angry at the world I'll complete this.]

I was going to put an entry here about Jesus and penis enlargement. The idea was: accept Jesus and the holy spirit will invigorate your manhood. After a bit of careful reflection, I decided my parody would be too sacraligous to publish, so instead here is a meta-comment about that parody. I will leave it to the reader to decide if this comment is more or less offensive than the parody (I think less, but there is only one way to find out...).

Its interesting: People who come to this blog after finding my 'errant posts' on their own blog look far enough through the list of posts to find the ("Put Meta-blog comments here") thread below, where they appropriately express their feelings as per my request.

Five steps towards immortallity

1) Come up with some insanely progressive idea that will be dismissed by all as a pipe dream.

2) Attempt to convince the world that this idea is important.

3) Defend this idea with vigilance against those who would dismiss it.

4) Accomodate the rational critisms of those who would help improve it.

5) Get assassinated, then famous.

How to climb the knowledge ladder

1) Become interested in something.

2) Realize that most interesting things are important.

3) Make an effort to understand the interesting thing to the greatest possible depth.

4) Integrate understanding with the understanding of other interesting things previously investigated.

5) Repeat.

I couldn't have chosen to not publish this entry

First, I'm gonna take your house
and burn it
Then I'm gonna take your books
and burn them, too.

It won't take that long
we promise
but you won't 'live long 'nough
to doubt us

After everyone is done
and dead
your gonna miss your home
oh, oh...

We won't hesitate, to look off
away towards our 'fate' =
the self-imposed restricted,
apologetic and scripted,
refusal to take things from here (1).







*1] The phrase 'from here' refers to the moment when mankind realized thats its understanding of reality allows it to 'contradict' the causal predictions made by its theories. The causal prediction 'the sun rises tommorrow' is an inaccuate prediction if the sun is destroyed by man before it could rise.

Put Meta-blog comments here

If you've recently found that I have graced your blog site with some pointless post, please express your frustration, anger, dissapointment, curiosity, or elation here. Alternatively, discuss the future of blogging.

How to (strangley collaborate on an electronic audio composition and then get distracted by sound manipulation) in ten easy steps

1) Lay down the rhythmic bed. This can be done in a flexible way by creating 1, 4, 8, etc. bar chunks of MIDI data representing some sequenced rhythmic patterns. By rearranging and combining a handful of these sequences one can easy create a whole compositions worth of varied rhythmic material.

2) On some polyphonic MIDI instrument, arrange and record a sequence of chords or arppegios in some multi-bar format as per above. Modulate and combine these sequences and juxtapose them upon the pre-arranged rhythmic material.

3) Mixdown composition into WAV format and burn onto a compact disc. Take disc over to Cyrus and exchange it with the disc he has prepared for you.

4) Take home Cy's disc, load it into the wave editor program of your choice, and mangle the data thoroughly.

5) Load Steinberg's "Recycle", important the mangled wave data, and time slice it into 32nd note or greater slices. Export individual slices in WAV format.

6) Import mangled and sliced data into the original multi-track recording program you used for (1).

7) Copy track of sliced data onto n subsequent tracks, n being the inverse of the note value of the slice resolution used in (5) [So, if you sliced Cy's mangled data into 32nd note chunks, then copy the sliced track onto 32 subsequent tracks].

8) Starting with track 2 and continuing through all tracks, shift the entire track forward the note value used in (5), added to itself (the track number minus 2) times. [So track 3 will be shifted forward by a 32nd note twice {AKA a 16th note}; track 2 would be shifted forward a 32nd note].

9) You will now have on your hands a rich source of goo. Playback all tracks simulataneously and route audio output into a vast bank of 96 db/oct. bandpass filters. Use filters to creates pitched material out of the goo. Attach filters' master cutoff freq. control to a 1 oct./volt control voltage source (such as that of a keyboad designed for a modular synth, such as an Ondes Martenot).

10) Become Radiohead.