Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with new "Intelligent Falling" theory

I really wish I wrote this.


http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2


BTW, shout out to Nodar for tipping me off to this.

www.imsorry.com


This might come in handy in the near future.

I've always thought this and am only bored enough now to say it...

Ronim Nivek. A good name for a Romulan abassador that happens to be my name backwards.

Reality

(I found this on a blog. It's a girl telling off her estranged gaurdian. Its pretty interesting...)

Even if I couldn't have talked to you, if you had at least given me the impression that you gave a damn about my well-being, I could have considered you a parent. But you never paced the floor over worry or concern for us (you concern was always frustration at the knowledge that your rules weren't being abided) when we didn't show up where we were supposed to. You weren't the least bit concerned when you found out we had witnessed a bad accident. You weren't ever concerned about any of our issues. You joked around about how much money you were saving because we were spending our own on food instead of saving it up for college which you knew well you weren't going to contribute a dime to. When one of us was injured you were more concerned over the medical bill and the expense we were causing. You never took us to a doctor or a dentist. If you had been strapped for cash I would have understood, but you were meanwhile taking yourself to the dentist at every minor ache, and got yourself prescribed prozac for "depression" because your girlfriend broke up with you.

Parent?!? You were a estranged uncle who accidentally got stuck with some kids he didn't know and didn't give a damn about. To you it was an ordeal that you just wanted to get through. Only 4 more years, only 3, only two, one more till I get my home and money back from these bratty teenagers. And then there was my grandparents constantly showing up to our concerts and reminding us that they'll be our parents, and they'll be there for us after all they terrible things they had done. It was appalling, and humiliating to have that disgusting woman follow me around claiming she was my mother, talking to my friends parents like everything was normal, and all I wanted was for the beast to go away. But there was no one there to correct her, or to stand up for us. No one to say these are my kids and that that woman hurt them and is using you (my friend's parents) to try and weasel her way back into their life.